The Dance That Matters
by JAGster
Summary: This is my first attempt at writing a fanfic so feedback is welcome. If any of you are on the Christyfest board then you'll know me as Jamie. This story is basically my own presonal attempt to resolve the ending to "The Road Home." Hope you enjoy it.
1. Chapter 1,2, & 3

Disclaimer: I do not own the story of Christy. Christy belongs to the Marshall-LeSourd Family, L.L.C. I am not making a profit off this and it is for the sole purpose of entertainment for me and whoever else reads it.

The Dance That Matters

There I was caught between the two men that I loved the most and who I would eventually have to choose between. I stared at the ring in my hand, the sunlight bouncing off the diamond made it dance in the small blue velvet box. David's timing was impeccable and not at all how I pictured a marriage proposal to be. I glanced up at David who I realized was expecting me to give him an answer, but my mouth would not move to speak. David was a good friend, dedicated and reliable, but sometimes he treated me more like a possession on his arm to show off then as a potential soul mate. His unwillingness to have a serious conversation annoyed me and left me feeling empty. I slowly turned my head towards Neil who was anxiously sitting on his horse. He was strong and confident and at times I found myself confiding in him even before I would confide in Miss Alice or David, yet in many ways he was still a mystery to me that I had not been able to unravel. His reluctance to share his deepest, truest feelings with me about our relationship left me with many doubts, but what I saw in his eyes at that moment reached into me and touched the inner most parts of my soul. They were vulnerable and pleading with me for understanding. At that moment I knew his love for me was real, but he was still a married man and I could not forget the images that I had just seen at his cabin. I wanted to run and hide like a school girl. I looked back at the children whose eyes told me they understood my dilemma. I had to get out of there so I took off running for the mission house leaving everyone else behind.

When I reached the mission house I blew past Miss Alice quickly bounding up the staircase and firmly shutting the door behind me. As I grabbed my suitcase from under the bed I could hear raised voices outside. David and Neil had raced after me and were now standing in front of the mission house.

David was now shouting, "Don't you think that you've hurt Christy enough? You confuse her Doctor. You're still a married man. What do you possibly have to offer her that I can't give her?"

"I can give her respect, something that you know nothing about," I could hear Neil's Scottish brogue get thicker with each angering word he spit out. "She's not just pretty face to wear on your sleeve. She's an intelligent woman with feelings and she needs to be talked to as such. I know Christy better then you do because I've taken the time to have deeper, more meaningful conversations with her.

"Really Doctor, you think you know Christy that well?"

"Enough!" I heard Miss Alice's fiery voice interrupting the lively squabble between these two men. "David I believe thee is still needed at the schoolhouse and Neil I am sure that thy services are needed somewhere. This incessant bickering between the two of you is not doing Christy a bit of good. Indeed I would not be surprised to find her packing her bags right now. Both of you go and leave her alone for now."

A sense of relief flooded over me as I peeked out the window to see Neil and David retreating, going their separate ways without any further words. I suddenly heard footsteps coming up the stairs and I knew it had to be Miss Alice.

I heard a soft tap at my door, "Christy I know thou is in there, please let me come in." I let out a breath that I didn't know I was holding and slowly turned the door knob to see Miss Alice peering at me. The lines on her face showed worry laced with compassion and love. "I did not know that Margaret's return would cause so much turmoil. I think it would have been better for all if she had just left us thinking she was dead."

"Miss Alice, you don't mean that." I wasn't sure at that moment whether I was trying to convince myself or Miss Alice more.

"Yes I do Christy. I can see the hurt that she has caused in your heart and in Neil's."

"Miss Alice……."

"No Christy, thee needs to understand something. You and Neil have a special relationship with each other. I was jealous to see you often running off to confide in him before seeking me out and I watched the pain in David's eyes every time you spoke of Neil. At first I could not understand how he could forget Margaret so quickly and it pained me to his face light up so fast when he looked at you. There was something there that I had never seen between him and Margaret, a level of respect and admiration that was mutual in understanding. I have sense accepted your relationship with Neil because I realized that it was needed not only by Neil, but thee also."

"Miss Alice I don't know what to do." I was trying to keep my voice even and controlled, but I could tell I was failing. "No matter what decision I make someone will get hurt."

"I wish that I could tell thee that everything will be all right, but I cannot make that promise Miss Huddleston. You are right, someone will have hurt feelings, but does thee remember the time that I said the truth shall set thee free?" I slowly nodded my head. "Well then thee must put away all distractions including that ring box thee is now holding. The must listen to thy heart and follow it. In time God will reveal what thee needs to do. Miss Huddleston one must remember that in the long run the truth heals all hurts better than a lie." I inadvertently shifted my eyes down towards my feet. For some reason at that moment I could tell that Miss Alice could see right through me. "Well I have business to attend to so I will leave thee to thy thoughts, but one more thing before I go." Her eyes glanced toward the suitcase I had pulled out on the bed, "running away from thy problems will not solve them." With that said Miss  
Alice turned and walked out the door of my room. I sighed because I knew she was right so I picked up the suitcase and put it back in its place under my bed. I grabbed my shawl and headed downstairs to take a walk. I needed some fresh air and time to think and clear my head, something that I could not seem to do when in the presence of either Neil or David.

**Chapter 2**

As I walked out onto the porch my eyes surveyed the area. Neither Neil nor David was anywhere to be seen. I breathed a sigh of relief and started on my walk. With every step I took my head was spinning in circles and I really had no clue at all what I really wanted. Both men left me feeling confused and irritated for putting me in this position, but I could not blame them entirely because it was just as much my fault as it had been theirs. It was probably even more so mine because of my inability to face my feelings and make a decision. I climbed to the spot where Fairlight and I had been earlier. When we had finished our conversation I was almost positive that my feelings for Neil were stronger than the ones that I had for David. David's love for me seemed more like an infatuation and I often wondered if he was more in love with the idea of being in love than he actually was with me, but I suppose on some level he did feel love for me or at least thought he did. Doctor MacNeill was the person that I turned to most often for advice. I trusted him and he made me feel at ease. I felt comfortable confiding in him and it was evident to me in more recent days that his feelings for me ran deeper than I had originally thought, but he was married and this put a definitive barrier between us.

I looked around at the mountains, the tall trees provided a beautifully shaded canopy of fall color to the valley below and the view was absolutely breathtaking. I had come to love these mountains and the people in them, especially the children. They had made such great progress since I had first stepped into that tiny schoolhouse with my fancy pointed shoes. Most women my age were already married and starting families of their own and here I was almost twenty years old. Miss Alice's words, "thee are not here to find a husband," kept ringing through my head. She was right of course, that was not why I had come to Cutter Gap, but God had seen it fit to enter these men into my life for a reason so it wasn't entirely impossible that he meant for me to meet my husband here either. Since Neil was married, David was the only choice I could make and I did not relish the idea of spending the rest of my life alone. I could do a lot worst and I knew that he would always make sure that my needs were met and would be faithful to me. I decided to go find David and tell him of my decision. My heart was heavy with sorrow, but in my mind I knew, or at least thought I knew, I was making the right decision.

Suddenly I heard footsteps behind me and then a very distinct recognizable voice began to talk that matched those footsteps. "Miss Huddleston……..Christy, I need to talk to you." I froze where I was standing and I had to will myself to make my feet turn me around.

"Dr. MacNeill, what are you doing here?" I knew my voice had taken on an icy cold tone, but I couldn't conceal it. "Shouldn't you be with your wife?"

I heard him let out a big sigh before he began and his eyes were staring at the dirt below his feet. "I could not go back to the cabin just now. I needed some time to think. There are some things I need to explain to you."

"Doctor there is nothing to explain." I was feeling too hurt to stand here and listen to him right now.

"Christy………"

"No Doctor! There can't be anything between us. You are a married man and you have a wife who needs you and is waiting for you. Go back to her Doctor."

"Christy," he was pleading, "you need to know how I feel about you."

"Neil, don't do this right now. It's getting dark and I need to get back to the mission before they worry about me. I'm going to accept David's proposal of marriage." I saw a dark shadow pass over the Doctor's eyes and the unmistakable pain that I saw in them was almost too much for me to bear. "I have to go," I said while brushing past him and I started making my way off of the massive rock. I couldn't stay here and look at him any longer for fear that I may not have the courage to leave him.

"Christy, please. Don't do this!" I heard his pleading voice call to me. My heart wanted to turn around and run back to him, but my mind kept me from doing so. He was married and that was that.

"I have to go Neil," I yelled back at him and I kept on my trek back to the mission house, but I could still hear him barely audibly say, "just when I thought there was a life for me………but I love you Christy." Those words shot a stabbing pain through my heart and I suddenly wished I had not heard them because they would haunt me time and again throughout the next month.

**Chapter 3**

Dinner that night was quieter than usual. Miss Alice kept making attempts at small talk, but was failing miserably and David would barely look at me. Even Ruby Mae sat in uncharacteristic silence, her normal fiery red haired peppiness taking a backseat to the day's events. I could tell she was confused and that her mind was tumbling in directions trying to figure things out.

I finally broke the silence and tried to muster the best smile that I could manage, "David," I asked, "Will you take a stroll with me after dinner?"

Suddenly David had the biggest smile that I had ever seen cross his face, "certainly Christy. I'd love to take a walk with you."

"Ruby Mae," Miss Alice said, "I believe you and I have dishes to clear off the table."

"Yes mam," she excitedly replied as a wide grin spread across her face.

David and I strolled out onto the porch and down the steps towards the schoolhouse. "I remember the first day you came here," he began. "You looked so tired and you fell right into my arms as I opened the mission house door. I loved you from that very moment you know and you know I love you now Christy. I want you to be my wife, but I can't take this waiting game any longer. Either you feel the same way I do or you don't, but I need an answer. This is the last time I'm asking you." David dropped down on one knee and taking his hands in mine asked, "Christy Huddleston, will you marry me?"

I silently prayed that he could not feel my hands trembling in his and that he could also not hear the doubts in my voice as I said, "Yes David I will marry you." He picked me up and twirled me around in a circle and then putting me down he kissed me. I could not stop myself from wondering what it would have been like for Neil to have been standing here with me instead of David. I hoped that my thoughts would not betray me.

David's voice brought be back to the moment. "Come on Christy lets go tell the others." The excitement in his voice was undeniable and I wished that I could have matched it. I smiled up at him and nodded in agreement. We both walked back to the mission house to tell the others of our good news.


	2. Chapter 4 & 5

**Chapter 4**

A whole month had passed by since I had accepted David's proposal and I had not even so much as crossed paths with Doctor MacNeill once during that time. I had heard through the grapevine that his wife, Margaret, had decided to go on to Atlanta. There were many times when I wanted to go to him and talk to him about it, but I had no idea what I would say to him or if he would even receive me and that kept me away. The wedding was also only one month away and the planning for it kept me extremely busy. Fairlight had been over everyday helping me with preparations. We were now sitting on the front porch sipping lemonade and taking a break from working on my dress.

"A penny for your thoughts Mizz Christy."

"Oh Fairlight," I responded, "I don't even think my thoughts are worth a penny."

"I bet I could guess what you are thinkin. You're thinkin of Doc MacNeill."

I opened my mouth to protest, but Fairlight waved her hand in the air and continued on. "Your feelins for the Doc ain't gonna go away just because you're gettin hitched to the preacher."

"Fairlight my feelings for Doctor MacNeill are purely admiration for his skills as a doctor."

"Who are you tryin to convince, me or yourself?" I knew the answer to that question, but I was afraid to answer it. Farilight could see the struggle that was going on within me. "Christy, the kind of love that I have with Jeb only comes along once in a lifetime. The man you marry needs to be your best friend, the person you tell all of your deepest thoughts to and the person that you trust more than anyone else on the face of this earth. When that person comes along you have to hold on to them and fight for them. Remember God works things out in his own time and sometimes we just need to be patient enough to wait for them. Anyhow, that's the best advice I can give ya and it's gettin late. My youngins and their pa will be wantin their supper before long." With that she rose from her chair and headed down the steps of the mission house, pausing at the bottom she looked back at me and smiled with deep blue all knowing eyes, "I have a feelin that everything is going to work out just fine so don't you fret none Mizz Christy." I wished I had her confidence, but it just wasn't there. I had to find a way to get my thoughts away from Neil MacNeill, but it seemed the harder I tried the more my heart would just not let me.

**Chapter 5**

That night I found that no matter how hard I tried I just could not sleep. I tossed this way and that thinking of all the events that had unfolded in the last month. My sleep was restless so I finally sat up and threw my legs over the side of the bed. Fearing that I might wake the others I slowly got up and tip toed across the wood floor to my clothes. I hurriedly dressed myself, being careful not to make a sound. I then grabbed my shoes and silently went downstairs and out the front door. I wanted to take a short walk in hopes that it might help my elusiveness towards sleep. As soon as my shoes were on I headed for the river. I needed to hear the calming flow of the water as it gurgled over the stones and made its way downstream through the tall trees that had stood on this mountain for thousands of years. It was a warm autumn night, but there was a nice breeze flowing through the trees and rustling their leaves. It almost seemed as if the trees were whispering secrets to one another while their long branches danced in the wind. I looked up to see the stars twinkling like small diamonds in the backdrop of an otherwise dark sky, the only other light coming from the illumination of the moon. How anyone could say there was no God when surrounded by such beauty was a mystery to me.

All of the sudden I heard a twig snap and I whirled around to see a pair of hazel eyes staring at me with intense longing. A small smile spread across Neil's face, "Miss Huddleston we really must stop meeting this way. Remember the trouble we caused last time?"

"I remember very well Doctor. I didn't realize I had walked so far down the river." I knew in my heart that was a lie. I knew exactly how far I had come, but I had not anticipated finding anyone awake at this hour. We stood there as if frozen in time staring at each other for a moment. He was tall with rugged good looks and the moon cast a brilliant glow over his curly golden red hair making it stand out more then it usually did. The smile lines around his sparkling hazel eyes made him all that more attractive. I finally broke the silence between us. "I miss you Neil. I miss our friendship and the children miss your science lessons. I don't want to lose you as a friend." I noticed he was staring at the ring on my finger. It made me feel very self conscious and I quickly folded my hands behind my back to hide it from him.

"Christy, you can't always have everything you want. It would not be proper for you and me to be close friends when you are engaged to another man. I will not compromise your integrity that way." His voice sounded sad and it touched me that he was more concerned about my reputation then satisfying his own personal desires. There was something different about the Neil MacNeill that was standing before me now then the one standing before me over a month ago.

"Your reputation is at stake too Doctor. You are still a married and the people of the cove need you. If they don't trust you, you can't be of any help to them."

"Christy," he began slowly as if he was trying to formulate in his mind the words he wanted to say. "I got a letter from a hospital in Atlanta about a week ago. It came from a doctor there who specializes in Tuberculosis cases."

"Margaret?" I questioned.

He shook his head yes, his eyes having a faraway look in them. "She did not make it. She died there. They sent me a copy of the death certificate and her wedding rings back to me. He said she had to told him to send them to me and that she wanted me to be happy."

I didn't know what to say so I said the only thing that I knew to say for situations like this, "I'm sorry Neil." My heart really meant it and it ached for the man standing in front of me. I couldn't help but want to reach out to him and somehow shield him from all of the pain and regrets that Margaret's death must have caused him.

"Don't be Christy. I had settled my issues with her and had forgiven her already. I realized I had to if I was ever going to have peace with my past and be able to move forward. I found my old family Bible shortly after our last meeting. I was very distraught over your decision to marry Reverend Grantland and I had no one to go to so I opened it up and began to read it. I read about what it meant to forgive and to be truly forgiven. That night I prayed that God would forgive my stubbornness and that he would help me to forgive others the way He forgave me. When I was done I felt as if the weight of the world had been lifted off my shoulders and a sense of peace enveloped me like none other I had ever felt before." He paused for a minute as if deciding whether he should continue or not. I could see the agonizing turmoil playing out in his eyes. "Christy, you have to know that I love you. I have for a very long time now and I want you to be happy. If there is anyone that I know that deserves it, it's you. If marrying Grantland is what makes you happy then I will not stand in your way."

I stood there staring at him, astonished by every word he had just spoke. He loved me to the point where he was willing to sacrifice his own happiness for mine. He really was a different Neil MacNeill. He had a peace about him that I had never seen before and it was genuine. I was trying to hold back the tears that desperately wanted to flow from my eyes, but one escaped anyways. I felt my cheeks blush as Neil's eyes connected with mine, locking me in an intense gaze. He then lifted his hand to gently cup my face and wipe the lone tear away with his thumb.

He finally broke away from me clearing his throat and flashing me a teasing grin. "It's late Miss Huddleston. You should probably get back to the mission before someone notices you are gone and sends a search party out. We certainly don't want another scandal on her hands do we now?" He gave me a quick smile and a small chuckle escaped his lips that completely warmed me on the inside. On an impulse I reached up and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek and without daring to look for his reaction I hurriedly scampered back to the mission house.

To be continued………..


	3. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

I awoke the next morning to the fresh smell of coffee. Memories of the night before came flooding into my mind. Had I dreamed it or had it been real? I shook my head; no it was the most real thing that had happened to me at all over the past couple of months. I got out of bed and flung the doors open to reveal the beautiful autumn colors of the cove that were brilliantly displayed by the sun's rays as it rose in the Eastern Sky swallowing up the last fragments of the early misty dawn. I loved the fresh smell of the clean mountain air tickling my senses first thing in the morning and I took in a deep breath, reveling in the smells of a new day. I stood there for a moment thinking about last night's events. Neil's confessions had made my heart soar to new heights, but I was now more confused than I had ever been. I decided to get dress and go downstairs for breakfast, hoping to have an opportunity to speak with Miss Alice.

When I entered the dining room she was already sitting at the table, but something told me this was not the right time for this particular discussion. I could tell right away that she was not her normal self. She looked apprehensive and there were deep lines of worry written all over face. It was then that I noticed she was shakily holding a letter in her hands. She looked as if she was trying to decide whether or not to open it.

I sat down next to her and gave her a concerned questioning look, "Miss Alice?"

She gazed at me acknowledging my presence, "Uh Miss Huddleston, good morning."

"Are you all right Miss Alice?"

"I have a letter from Atlanta. I believe it is about Margaret, but I have not been able to bring myself to open it yet."

I didn't know what to say. I knew what was in the letter, but I also knew that for closure's sake Miss Alice needed to open it. "Miss Alice, don't you think you need to read it?"

She looked up at me and pleadingly asked, "Miss Huddleston would you please?" She held out her hand towards me with the envelope clasped between her fingers.

"I don't think……." She cut me off before I had a chance to finish my sentence.

"Please Christy. I cannot bear to do it and I need thy strength right now. Please read it to me." I willed myself to take the letter out of her hands. My heart filled with aching compassion for this woman who I had come to know as a mentor and close friend and I knew that she thought of me as a daughter. I could not refuse the pain that showed so evidently on her face. She had to have known what was in the letter. I carefully tore the edges of the envelope open and pulled out a neatly folded piece of paper. Inside with the letter was Margaret's necklace, a gift that Miss Alice had given to her a long time ago. I handed the necklace to Miss Alice who held onto it tightly, grasping it between her well worn fingers which had accomplished so much here at the mission.

"Dear Miss Alice Henderson," I began

"It is my deepest regret that I must inform you of the death of your daughter, Margaret MacNeill. As you know she had been suffering from an extreme bout of Tuberculosis. I am sorry for your loss. I have enclosed a necklace that she wished for you to have and a note that she wrote shortly before her death.

Sincerely,

Dr. James Breckenridge."

I looked up at Miss Alice who now had tears running down her cheeks. "Miss Alice," I gently said, "would you like me to read Margaret's note as well?" With a longing far off look on her face she nodded yes.

"Dear Mother,

Since you are reading this I am guessing that you now know of my passing. I know that you and I have never seen eye to eye on a lot of things and there are many things that I now regret were never said between us. I want you to know that I love you mother and I want you to take comfort in knowing that I now know that God loves me as well, even through all of my faults. Don't grieve for me too much Mother. I truly am at peace now. I want for you and Mac to both be happy and please tell Christy for me that whatever her relationship with Mac is, I am ok with it and I give them my blessings." I could feel the warmth of my face as it quickly reddened and I kept my eyes looking down at the note for fear that Miss Alice might notice. "I want you to have this necklace to remember me by in hopes that when you look at it you'll remember the love that I had in my heart in my last days and that I am no longer bitter for things in the past. I love you mother and I know you loved me as well. I hope that you will find it in your heart to forgive me.

Love Margaret"

I folded the letter and put it back into the envelope, sliding my chair back I quietly stood and walked behind Miss Alice's chair. I put my hands on her shoulders and gave her a comforting squeeze as best as I could. Eventually her sobs ceased. She looked up at me and while wiping the tears away said, "I must go to Atlanta. I need to find the Doctor who cared for her in her last days and try to find closure to this part of my life."

"Would you like me to go with you Miss Alice? I really don't think you should go alone." I was concerned for Miss Alice. She had been through so much and I so desperately wanted to be of comfort and support to her.

"Christy, there are some things that we all must do on our own. Mine is going to Atlanta and putting to rest the agonizing pains and regrets that Margaret has left me with. Likewise thee must find out whether marrying David is truly in God's plans for thy life. Thee needs to sort out thy feelings not only for David, but for Neil as well. Be truthful with thyself Miss Huddleston and do not miss out on finding true love and happiness."

I started to open my mouth in protest, but something stopped me. I had a startling realization that I knew she was right. I really didn't love David, I had chosen him because at the time he was the only choice I could make, but that was not the case now. I couldn't lie to myself any longer. It would not be fair to David if I were to marry him without returning his love and I did not want to live with a lifetime of regrets and what ifs. It would be hard to face him and see his hurt, but I also could not stand to hurt Neil either. He was my best friend and the man I knew my heart really loved. I would have to seek David out after school and have that difficult discussion with him. I prayed silently that God would give me the wisdom, the words, and the strength to say what needed to be said.


	4. Chapter 7 & 8

**Chapter 7**

As soon as school let out I saw David approaching the steps to the schoolhouse. His tall frame entered the doorway and cast a shadow across the room. I had trouble bringing myself to look at him. The palms of my hands were sweating profusely with anxiety. It was now or never. I knew I needed to confront him with the truth about my feelings for him.

"David," I said, "can we take a walk?"

"Sure." I could hear the apprehensiveness in his voice. I stood up to meet him at the door and I could instantly see worry written all over his face. As we went down the stairs he reached for my hand, but I quickly pulled it away, dropping it like a hot potato.

"Why do I get the distinct feeling that something is wrong Christy?"

We stopped walking and I turned to face him. "David this isn't easy for me," I began, "but I have to be honest with you and myself. When two people talk about getting married there are certain things………"

"Stop," he cut me off, "Christy I love you and I want to be with you." I could see the pain behind his pleading eyes and as much as it hurt me to see that I knew that being dishonest about my feelings for him would hurt even more.

"David, you deserve to have a wife who loves you with her whole self, a wife who you share every part of you with and who shares every part of herself with you. You and I are friends, but my feelings for you don't extend any further than that and you're not really in love with me, you're just in love with the idea of being in love. I'm sorry David, but we can't get married." I slid the ring off my finger and held it out for him to take.

"I could have made you so happy Christy Huddleston," he said with a slight hint of anger and disappointment.

"No, it would have been a fake happiness, not the real genuine kind that you always hope for when you get married."

"I just don't understand Christy, why now?" Then as if a light went off in his head he added, "It's MacNeill isn't it." He said it like a statement more than a question and it lingered there in the air. I shifted my eyes toward the dirt below my feet. That was enough of an answer for David to understand. "I see," he sighed, "Miss Alice just told me about Margaret. I saw her packing to leave for Atlanta tomorrow. I can't say that I'm not disappointed and hurt, but I think I knew all along that you're heart never really was mine."

"I'm sorry David; it was never my intention to hurt you." Looking up at David I saw something in his eyes that was totally unexpected. They were conveying sympathy and compassion for me.

"Don't be sorry Christy. You can't control who you love no more than I can control loving you. I really do wish you happiness and a life full of love." Without another word he turned and headed towards his bunkhouse. The spring in his step was gone and the slump in his shoulders was evidence of the sorrow that filled his heart at that moment. I turned and went back into the schoolhouse to gather my things. The days were getting shorter and I knew I had to go find Neil before the sun sat down over the western horizon, hiding itself behind the majestic Smoky Mountains. I put my things away in the mission house and hurriedly told Miss Alice where I was going, promising to be back in time for supper. The small fleeting smile that crossed her face and the twinkle in her eye told me she understood what was going on.

I heard her call out to me as I exited the house, "hold on to joy Miss Huddleston."

**Chapter 8**

I went to Neil's cabin first, but he was not there so I went to Dan Scotts place and he told me that he had not seen him either, but that he would let him know I was searching for him if he did see him. My heart sank and the sun was starting to set very quickly.

"Miss Christy if you don't mind me saying so I think it would be best if you started for home," said Dan. "You know it's hunting season and you don't want to get caught out here with men firing off their guns at anything that moves."

"I understand your concern Dan, but I need to check one more place, a trout stream that he frequently fishes at." I could tell that Dan was about to object. "I promise if he's not there then I'll go home, but I have to try, it's urgent that I see him."

"All right Miss Christy, but only if you promise." I nodded my head in agreement and that seemed to appease him. I eagerly started for Neil's secret fishing place before Dan had a chance to change his mind and try to convince me to go home.

The path to the stream meandered through densely populated forest land. The fall colors were brilliantly displayed in shades of reds, oranges, yellows, and browns. I tried to think of the words to use to explain to Neil what my true feelings were for him. I was very nervous because for the first time I was going to make myself totally and completely vulnerable before him. My heart was pounding in my chest as I got closer to the trout stream. I could finally see the clearing at the head of the trail where the stream was freely flowing and I was hoping that Neil would be there. As I approached his fishing spot a lump of frustration and sadness formed in my throat. He was not there and I was sorely disappointed. I knew that I would have to go back to the mission now.

I turned and started to head back when something moved and caught the corner of my eye. I turned to look and what I saw took my breath away. There across the stream was a buck with its long neck dipping it's head into the cool stream for a fresh taste of the sparkling water. I stood still, hovering close to a large beech tree in hopes that it would not see me. The animal was magnificently beautiful. All of the sudden I heard voices off in the distance and I saw the animal's ears perk up as it frantically looked around. Then a shot rang out causing the beast to take off running. At that same moment I felt a searing pain rip through the course of my body and I instantly dropped on my knees to the ground unable to move. I looked down at my shoulder in total shock where a crimson red stain was starting to spread over my blouse. I had been shot. I was so foolish to have stood there and watched that deer, especially after the warning that Dan Scott had just given me. I tried to stand, but everything started to sway around me so I fell back to the ground and tried to call for help, but no one came. The hunters had probably seen the buck run and went in pursuit of it. There was no way that I was going to be able to walk back to the mission and a scared thought went through my mind that I could actually die here along with all of my hopes and dreams for the future. The only thing I could do was sit against the tree and wait. I knew that David and Miss Alice would come looking for me if I did not return to the mission so I silently prayed that God would give me the strength to hang on until I was rescued.


	5. Chapter 9 & 10

**Chapter 9**

When David and Miss Alice discovered that I had not returned for supper they knew something was wrong. The darkness of the night had already covered the sun's rays and they began to worry even more.

"Alice, did she say where she was going," David asked with worry and desperation in his voice. Miss Alice was afraid that his pacing would wear a hole in the parlor's rug.

"She said she was going to go look for Neil. I assumed that meant she was headed for his cabin, but this is totally not like Christy to not return for supper. I'm afraid that something may have happened to her."

"Or maybe she just found Doctor MacNeill and decided to eat with him." David's voice held a small tinge of jealousy in it.

Ruby Mae who overheard David and Miss Alice speaking about Christy entered the parlor. "That ain't possible Preacher. Doc MacNeill came by earlier today and said he was headed for El Pano to buy supplies. He said he would be by this evening sometime to re-stock the mission with medicine."

At about that time there was a knock at the door and it opened to reveal Dr. MacNeill standing there holding a bag of supplies for the mission. His tired face looked around the room at everyone noticing right away the glum look on their faces.

"You all look like you've been to a funeral." His eyes darted around the room and then he realized that Christy was not there. His heart leapt into his throat thinking the worst he finally asked the question they were waiting for. "Where's Christy?"

"We were hoping that she was with you, Doctor." David responded, his eyes changing from jealousy to worry.

"I have not seen her all day. I have been in El Pano which I told Ruby Mae earlier today." Neil's face could not hide the panic and fear that he was feeling at that moment. "She should not have been out alone, at least not right now while the men of the cove are hunting." He looked accusingly at David, "Have you no better sense than that?" His voice was full of anger and anxiety.

"Neil," Miss Alice broke in, "it's not David's fault. He did not know she was trying to find you. She had told me, but she had promised to be back before supper and I thought she was just headed for thy cabin."

"Well I'm going to go search for her," said a worried Neil through clenched teeth.

"I'm going too," added David

"I will ride to the Spencer's and the Allen's and see if we can start some search parties. Ruby Mae you stay here in case she returns." Miss Alice paused and looked up at Neil whose eyes conveyed worry and concern. She put her hand on his arm, trying to offer some sort of comfort to him. "We will find her Neil. God we'll take care of her and we will find her." He looked down at the floor and slowly nodded. The three of them exited the mission house silently praying that they would find her before morning.

**Chapter 10**

Miss Alice had been successful in forming the search parties and I would later find out that almost the whole cove was looking for me. Miss Alice and Neil headed for Dan Scott's place to see if he had any clues as to my whereabouts. They were hoping that maybe I had gone by there while searching for Neil.

"Dan," Miss Alice called out.

"Miss Alice, Doctor MacNeill, what's going on? I've been listening to men shouting and have heard all kinds of commotion going on for the past couple of hours."

"Christy did not return home this evening," Miss Alice answered. "Has thee heard from her?"

"She came by here in the late afternoon looking for you, Doctor."

"Did she say anything to you about where she was headed Dan," asked Neil.

Dan nodded his head slowly trying to think back to the conversation he had with Christy earlier that day. "Yes, yes she did. I remember telling her that she should start heading back home, but she insisted on looking for you, said something about a trout stream."

A light of recognition went off in Doctor MacNeill's eyes. "I know where she is." He turned around and headed off in the direction towards his favorite fishing spot. That had to have been where she went. Miss Alice quickly followed him.

"I'm coming with you," yelled Dan, "you may need assistance."

Miss Alice and Dan found that they could barely keep up with Dr. MacNeill's pace. Neil was practically running through the thick trail, his feet carrying him over and around the familiar path he knew so well. After what seemed like an eternity the trio finally came to a head in the trail where the stream was calmly flowing, ignoring all other noises of the night. Neil held the torch he was carrying up high and his eyes darted around searching for anything that moved. Dan and Miss Alice followed suit and now all three were joined in the search. I could very faintly hear their frantic voices calling for me.

"Christy!" It was the familiar voice with a Scottish brogue that I heard first. "Christy, where are you? Please Christy, if you hear me say something." His voice had the sound of desperation in it.

I knew that if they were going to find me that I needed to try and speak out, but I had already lost a lot of blood and was feeling considerably weak. With all of the strength I could muster I cried out in hopes that they would hear me. "I'm here Neil, over here."

I saw a faint light moving by the stream. "Alice, Dan, did you hear something." They both stopped moving and talking. "Christy," yelled Neil.

"I'm here Neil, Miss Alice." At that moment I looked up to see the most wonderful sight I had seen all night. Neil was standing there holding his torch up and peering into my face. They had finally found me.

"Christy, oh Christy," Neil cried out with relief. His eyes then widened as he saw the blood stain on my blouse. "You've been shot." Neil's eyes turned fiery red, "Who did this to you?"

I shook my head, "I don't know. It was an accident. I think they were shooting at the buck I saw. I turned around to watch it. It stood so tall and proud. The next thing I know I felt a stinging sensation tear through my body." I was now crying in pain, the tears freely flowing from my eyes. "Oh Neil, it hurts so bad." Neil's hands were gently examining the large wound on my shoulder. The soft touch of his well worn hands had a calming effect on my mind and the worry that was evident in his gaze touched my heart deeply.

"Neil, how bad is it?" Miss Alice asked the question we were all waiting to be answered.

"It's hard to tell, but it looks like the bullet is still lodged in there. I do not see an exit wound in the back anywhere. Fortunately, even though she's lost a lot of blood, it looks like it missed the artery, but barely. We need to get her back to the mission so I can operate to get the bullet out and clean and close the wound." It was Neil MacNeill the doctor speaking now, almost all business, suppressing his emotions so he could concentrate on the task at hand. Carefully and gently Neil and Dan with the help of Miss Alice carried me back to the mission. As we arrived at the house out of the corner of my eye I could see David riding up on Prince.

"Christy," he yelled while quickly dismounting Prince and running to meet us, "they found you. What happened?"

"She was shot by people out hunting," Miss Alice answered. They rapidly carried me up the steps and into the house. Once inside I was immediately taken to my room and laid on the bed. I was relieved to finally be in my own bed and I tried my best to relax in the soft white sheets that conformed to my body and cradled me ever so gently.

I looked up at Neil who was already preparing his instruments to extract the bullet. "Christy, I'm going to have to take the bullet out so I'm going to have Mr. Scott put you to sleep now with Miss Alice's guidance."

"I'm scared," I whispered.

Neil's hand grabbed mine in his. "Do you trust me Christy?" I nodded, "then you have nothing to be worried about. I do this all the time for patients that are not even half as special to me as you are." He then reached up and pushed back a stray strand of hair from my forehead. "Are you ready?" Once again I nodded yes and the last thing I saw before succumbing to a deep sleep were Neil MacNeill's hazel eyes tenderly watching me with a depth of care and love that I had never seen expressed in them before. Yes, I trusted him, I trusted him explicitly with my whole heart and mind and I knew right then and there that my choice to love Neil was the right one.


	6. Chapter 11 & 12

**Chapter 11**

I could feel the heaviness of my eyes as I tried to open them. There were so many things that I needed to talk to Neil about. I wanted so desperately for him to understand and know the feelings I had for him. I wanted to tell him once and for all that my heart belonged to his and not David's. I needed to wake up and see his comforting face. Slowly I urged my eyes to flutter open. At first everything was a blur and I struggled to focus on the things in my room. My shoulder was still searing with pain and it made me wish that I could retreat back into a deep and peaceful slumber. I finally gathered the strength, propelled by my desire to see Neil, to hold my head up slightly so I could search the room. Neil was still here by my side. He was slumped over in his chair with his head resting on the side of my bed and his hand lightly covering mine. I wasn't sure if I should wake him or not. The night had probably been a long one for him and I was sure he had not slept much, but I decided that it was probably best if I did. With my good arm I reached down and gently stroked his golden curls. He stirred slightly and then looked up at me with big hazel eyes that showed little to no sleep. A small smile of joy spread across his face, replacing the lines of worry that I had been on there earlier.

"Christy," he said with such exuberance that I couldn't help but return his smile. "You're awake. Welcome back Miss Huddleston." He then turned and called for Alice and David. Both of them came eagerly running into my room.

"Miss Huddleston, thee gave us quite a scare." There was such joy and happiness in each of their voices that it made me wonder if it was a surprise for them to see me alive and staring at them.

Neil saw the questioning look on my face and responded, "We thought we were going to lose you. You had lost a lot of blood and were very weak. There were times throughout the night when I wasn't even sure I could feel your pulse."

I looked at David and he nodded in agreement. "Welcome back Miss Huddleston." I caught the fleeting moment of surprise on Neil's face as David referred to me so formally as Miss Huddleston.

Then my attention suddenly swung back to Miss Alice as I remembered her trip to Atlanta. "Miss Alice, I'm so sorry. I've messed up your trip to Atlanta."

"My trip to Atlanta can wait a few more weeks. I would feel much more comfortable going knowing that thou are well and that thy body is restored. Do not worry about me Miss Huddleston."

Then as if the house were on fire Ruby Mae came bursting through the door, "Doc MacNeill! She was gasping for air to try and finish her statement. "There's been an awful accident in El Pano. Two houses burnt plum down to the ground. They said they're in need of medical help."

I could hear a small groan escape from under Neil's breath. He looked at me with worry written all over his face and then back at Alice. I could tell he was being reluctant to leave and as much as I wanted him to stay with me I knew he had to go help those people.

"Neil," Miss Alice spoke up, "She will be fine now. The danger is over and we can take care of her while you're gone. All she needs is to rest and regain her strength. There is nothing more that thee can do to make that process happen any faster."

"Go Neil, Miss Alice is right. I'll be fine. I'm already feeling a lot better. They need you."

"I'll be back Miss Huddleston. No heavy lifting and make sure she gets plenty of rest."

I rolled my eyes at his incessantly protective tone. "Neil, I'll be fine. Now go, you're needed."

After talking with Miss Alice briefly in the corner of my room he turned and left. My talk with him would have to wait until he returned.

**Chapter 12**

Two weeks had gone by and there was still no sign of Neil. He had called to tell us that he would have to go to lower gap to take care of a man who had been in a farming accident. My arm that was now in a sling was starting to heal nicely and the pain that had once racked my body was slowly dissipating. I missed Neil a great deal, but my heart surged with pride for the way he took care of his people. Part of me wondered though if he wasn't purposely avoiding me since he did not know yet that David and I had broken our engagement. I was; however, relieved when Miss Alice told me that I could start teaching again as long as I kept my duties light and did not do anything too foolish to cause more damage to my healing shoulder. I hoped that time with the children would keep my mind occupied and that the days till Neil came back would go faster if I kept myself busy. Seeing the children again lifted my spirits greatly. On my first day back I walked up the steps and into the schoolhouse to find the children gathered around my desk, their smiling faces and joyfully twinkling eyes made my heart soar with love for them. They had brought flowers for me and had filled my desk with cards and pictures that they had hoped would make me feel better. I couldn't help but smile right back at them and I eagerly thanked them for their thoughtfulness. They excitedly went to their seats, ready to start a new day of learning.

That first day back the children were like angels. They were extremely attentive to everything I said and helpful to a fault. I had never seen them so committed to their tasks as they were that day. It was so quiet that I could have heard a pin drop; even Creed Allen had left his usual antics at the door. It actually made the day pretty uneventful and left me wishing that they would do or say something to make it a little more lively. The noon lunch hour finally came and I sent the children outside to eat and have recess time. I quickly ate my sandwich and then decided that I needed to clear my desk and hang all of their heartfelt cards and pictures around the room. I turned and looked at the space to the sides of the chalkboard and decided that was where I would hang them so that they could see that I truly did appreciate their effrots. I retrieved some pushpins out of my desk and proceeded to try the arduous task of hanging the cards using only one arm. I finally realized that this was just not working for me and that I would need help from one of the students to complete the project. I stared at the wall in disappointment and frustration. A rise of giggles and whispers from some of the older girls outside caught my attention and I whirled around ready to go and search for the source. I had only taken one step toward the door when my breath caught in my throat. Looking up I saw the tall broad frame of Doctor MacNeill standing in the doorway, staring at me with his deep hazel eyes and an expression of amusement on his face. I suddenly felt very nervous and very self conscious.

"Miss Huddleston, I hope you were not trying to put those pictures up all on your own." A broad teasing grin spread across Neil's face. He knew my stubbornness would eventually win out over my reason. "I came to check on you and see how you were doing."

"I'm doing much better. The pain is nearly gone and Miss Alice says the wound is healing nicely with no signs of infection."

"So she told me. I just came from the mission house and she said I would find you here." He glanced at my desk that was still covered in pictures. "Would you like me to help you put those up?"

"That would be wonderful, thank you," I smiled. As we stood there putting the pictures on the wall I was trying to think of a way to approach the subject of my break-up with David, but the nearness of the doctor as we hung pictures and his hands brushing against mine made it difficult for me to think. I prayed that he could not hear my heart pounding in my chest. I held the next card on the wall as Neil pushed a pin into it and then he froze staring wide eyed at my hand that was still holding the paper to the wall. His sudden awareness of my empty finger made me nervously remove my hand from the wall and withdraw it to my side. I looked up at him and our eyes locked.

A curiously confused and hopeful expression was written all over his face. "Where's your ring," he questioned, "you're not wearing it."

I took a deep breath. He had presented me with the opportunity I was searching for. "Neil, the day that I got shot by the hunters I was coming to find you to tell you that David and I broke off our engagement."

He shook his head, "I do not understand. I thought……." I put my finger up to his lips. He grabbed my hand holding it in his as if he was afraid this moment would slip from him. His eyes were searching mine.

"Neil, I can't marry David when I have feelings for another man, feelings that run deeper than I ever could have imagined. Neil, you're my best friend. I share my thoughts and ideas with you before I share them with anyone else. It's you that I love Neil, not David."

Still holding my left hand Neil took his other hand and reached up to softly cup my chin in his hand. My heart started to flutter and I could feel my pulse start to race when I realized what he intended to do. My eyes widened with excitement as he slowly lowered his head and captured my lips with his in the gentlest, sweetest kiss I had ever felt. My head was in a whirlwind of excitement as he broke away smiling at me, causing me to become completely lost in his sparkling eyes.

"Christy Huddleston, I've loved you since I first laid eyes on you that day at the Spencer's cabin and the feelings that grew inside of me scared me a little because I wasn't sure if I was the man that you needed in your life, but I know now that I can't live without seeing you're smile every day for the rest of my life. You challenge me in so many ways and I think that is what God had planned all along. He brought you into my life to show me how to truly love and trust again and how to believe in myself." He dropped down on one knee and my heart leapt with joy. "Christy Huddleston, I don't have much to offer you, but I love you so much and I want to spend the rest of my life dancing with you. Will you marry me Christy?"

I smiled down at those sparkling hazel eyes that I was so hopelessly lost in and answered, "Of course I will. I love you Neil MacNeill." He stood up hugging me and stole another kiss from my lips that I was so freely willing to give. All of the sudden we heard a loud sound of clapping and cheering coming from the schoolhouse door along with giggles and children whispering "ooooo…..teacher and Doc kissin' in the schoolhouse."

Then we heard Miss Alice's voice boom above the chaos, "What is going on here children?" Her voice trailed off as she reached the top of the steps and saw the two of us standing there with sheepish grins on our faces. Slowly, as she realized what was happening, a small grin spread across her face. "I do believe that I told thee once to hold onto joy Miss Huddleston and I believe thee has."

I looked at the children first, then Miss Alice, and then up at Neil who was still holding me in his arms. I had found joy here in these mountains and in this place called Cutter Gap. The lessons I had learned far outweighed the lessons that I had ever given. These people and taught me how to enjoy life and how to give without expecting anything in return. They taught me that traditions and family heritage were things that needed to be preserved and passed down through the generations. God had opened my eyes and heart and I was so grateful for everything He had shown me, including all the people he had brought into my life and my heart was filled with an unexplainable dance of joy that really did matter.

**The End**


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